New Year's Resolutions

Do people really sit down and come up with a plan for the year? Jeff and I were discussing our "New Year's Resolutions" for 2009 this morning. I started to laugh about it because it seems so silly. Have you watched TV this past 2-3 weeks? The commercials are for weight loss programs, stop smoking, fitness deals, etc. Why do people make decisions for their well being based on a day?! That is setting yourself up for pure destruction. Do it for yourself please and pick any day you want to start the process. Don't let society make your decisions in life and make sure you're making the decisions for yourself and when you want to make the changes needed. The changes will not stay with you if you are not on board for them. That's why people yo-yo around so much. I have people that tell me how great I look and all, but it doesn't matter to me really what others think. I FEEL great and the best I've felt in a long time. Not trying to be rude, only genuine here, and how you feel inside IS what matters most. I thought I was going to have a horrible time over the holidays with my sweet addictions and all, but it was smooth sailing for me. I have tried sweets a little since I've changed my eating habits and they make me feel sick to my stomach and give me headaches. Not worth the 2 minutes of sugary bliss anymore. I do love and still munch on chocolate covered espresso beans. I told my doc that he was insane if he thought I was going to give up those. He told me I needed a vice, but my vice needed to be in moderation. I agree.
I was talking my little sister over the holidays about my life change (I don't see myself on a diet- it is a life change) and how others perceive it as a diet and "how can we get on the diet?", "how much have you lost on that diet?", and "what diet are you on?". I was explaining to her that I had the scare of my life when I went into the doctor's office and he sat me down and said that I am very close to sticking needles in my arm for the rest of my life. It was very scary and I felt all alone as I sat there. A diet to me is a choice. I didn't feel as I had a choice and I still don't. He got a book out and started flipping through the pages of diabetics who have lost limbs and had complications from their disease. I was on the verge of that and HAD to make a change in my lifestyle. He said that I wouldn't realize how sick I was until I started to feel better, and the guy wasn't lying to me. It took about 2-3 days with my lifestyle change for the internal changes to hit. But, once it started, I felt (and still do) like a super star. People's perceptions about it are a little annoying to me still, but I think time will mend that hopefully. I was at a holiday party recently and there was an array of holiday treats on the table. WOW, I would have loved to have sampled those babies. But I told myself that the tray of fresh fruit and fresh veggies (which were hardly touched) is what I should grab instead. This guy I know comes across the room and blurts out so everyone hears, "So, trying to show us all up with that healthy eating!" He was a little rude and I didn't feel like having to justify myself in my food choices. I think someone else mentioned my disease to him eventually, because he came up (with his tail between his legs) and apologized to me privately. I hope he learned to get the facts before accusing people. His actions made me want to scurry from the room though and it happens quite a bit.
There once was a time that a friend of mine didn't drink and he was explaining the craziness that people get over trying to get you to drink with them. I completely understand now. Let's take that same party. I was walking around with nothing in my hand and was talking to different circles. I had 8 people ask me "why are you not drinking?" or "do you want me to grab you something?" I guess it's not socially acceptable to not drink. I finally had to grab a drink (water) to have them stop. But, when a girl isn't drinking at a social event- she is now then pregnant. You can never win.
I was also explaining to my sister about the weight loss that resulted in my new life style change. I was told from my doc that I should be a healthy weight between 118-132. I got down to 113.5 at one point and freaked out. Just so you all know, I do eat and I love food. I am not anorexic and don't binge or purge. I have had 5-6 people ask me that also. People must think they can ask personal questions like that or something. I don't think I could go up to someone I barely know and ask, "Are you anorexic now?" or "What is the secret? Vomiting?" (these are exactly what was asked of me)
I was asked by my doc if he could use my personal info (minus my name) in a log for other patients who have pre-diabetes/diabetes too. I told him "YES!" If it can help one person, it would mean the world to me.
I may even look at joining a group with others that have the disease. I think that may be helpful during tough times.
Enough ranting and raving for now...
** On a very positive note, I went for my bi-monthly doctor's poke and everything was spiffy with me. I got rave reviews on all my tests. That is good news after the holidays. I wasn't eating my normal vats of food and traveling makes for unhealthy eating sometimes.
So, to bend to society's norm, here is my informal list of New Year's resolutions:
1. Keeping up the good work on my health and well being (I love you too Jeff). He gave me the best card over the holidays that said he was proud of me. What a sweetie!
2. Bonding a bit more with my "not so little" guy.
3. Mending some family bridges. (you know who you are)
4. Taking the last 2 cake decorating classes I need to take to finish the series. Yes, I don't eat cake, but love making them fancy...
5. Enjoying my 2009 book club selections. E-mail me if you want the list.