Leaf Me Alone

Not sure where this come from, but I laughed out loud when I read it. I hope you enjoy as much as I did.


Leaf me alone.

Don’t bark at me like an angry dog

Don’t tell me to branch out or try and spruce me up.

Yew maple* me any way you wish

But I don’t want to go against my grain.

I like the roots I’ve got

And willow-er* my standards not a jot

(Though you wood say they’re low enough already).

I’m knot going to rowan* my life pining for you.

Don’t give me sage advice to make me poplar.

I’m alder than yew, your changes walnut* stick.

I have the balsa knot bough* before your Ivy League education

And I’ve found my grove,

Don’t blame me if I like acorny joke every now and then.

Yew can take that “holly-er than thou” attitude and shove it up your ash.


(I love puns)